Blogging is great, isn’t it. There’s such a feeling of safe, almost anonymity.
In the spirit of this feeling of security, and while I’m also under a blanket on my couch on a chilly Sunday evening, I am going to confess a few things to you. They are the obsessive habits I have cultivated throughout my life that I have been too ashamed to admit until now.
- I own all 10 seasons of Friends on DVD and have watched them repeatedly for the past nine years.
- Sometimes when I’m alone at night, I dine on spoonfuls of Nutella. As far as I know, it’s not not a healthy meal replacement.
- I perform concerts in my living room when home alone. If I don’t look in the mirror, I can convince myself that I am Eddie Vedder.
- When I’m reading a book and the author describes a strange sound that an animal is making, I start trying to quietly make that sound.
- I talk to my dog so much that I start truly believing she understands me and is responding with a series of head tilts, barks and leaving the room.
- I also speak encouragingly to food as I am cooking dinner. “Ok, tomato, so what I’m going to do is just turn you like this and make a quick incision right here. See, that doesn’t hurt too much, right? You look fabulous, by the way.”
- I make meaningless lists. Like titles of books I will write some day that I currently have no story for, female celebrities I would befriend if I were a famous film director, and lists of obsessive habits about which I can blog.
- Of course, I also spend a lot of time with my laptop and can spend up to an hour staring blankly at my Facebook profile, trying to figure out how to make it more interesting.
- I google celebrities I find attractive to find out if they are currently single and potentially open to dating me.
- My favourite thing to do is make dramatic resolutions to learn a language or take a course. Thanks to the Internet, I have quite a collection of phrase books in various languages and a folder of university courses on pretty much every subject imaginable. I only follow through on about one per cent of these ‘commitments’.
I welcome you to come out of the closet and share your so-called weird habits. It’s kinda like getting drunk together.