Movies can sometimes set audiences up for disappointment in real life. There are certain things one just can’t do if one wants to maintain a relationship with another person. Unless the person in question has really low self-esteem, there are quite a lot of deal breakers that will ruin any chance of the ‘happily ever after’.
Here are the movies that are guilty of overestimating human forgiveness and understanding.
“So, sure, Mom, he lied to us all about who he was, crashed both my sisters’ weddings, but it was only because he and his buddy like to spend every summer lying to strangers to spoil their days and have sex with any girl they can get drunk enough. It doesn’t mean he’s a bad person. I think he’s The One.”
– No ending to any real story that has happened ever.
“Hey, remember that time you tried to sabotage my marriage and get me fired? Haha, good times.”
– Awkward future conversation that a man won’t be having with his former best friend.
“When I first met Tank, he was such an asshole. He took me out for a date to a strip club and got me to pay for his lap dance. But then he had no strings attached sex with me for a series of weeks before attending my sister’s wedding, vomiting on her during her first dance with her husband, fatally injuring my grandmother, and propositioning my mother for fellatio. And I think that’s around the time I realised he was the man I was going to marry.”
– A speech you won’t hear from a bride at her wedding reception.
“I can’t believe you won’t forgive me after I never even apologised for raping you. We’ve clearly loved each other all these years.”
– Man in straitjacket.
“I think it’s totally cool you only work one day a week, sit on your ass all day, and lie to child services to get a kid to care for irresponsibly.”
– An intelligent, beautiful, successful lawyer’s response to her date right before the fake emergency phone call from her friend to get her the hell out of there.
“Thanks for inviting me over yesterday to see your daughter who’s clearly possessed by Satan and literally the most terrifying thing I’ve ever seen. I’m back to have another word with her.”
– A little white lie told with crossed fingers and a firearm held behind the priest’s back.
“Things feel so much more comfortable this Christmas since we swapped girlfriends.”
– Not a likely remark to be passed between brothers at the family dinner table.
- Wedding Crashers (myoldaddiction2.wordpress.com)